A letter to the Future Robots

Dear Future Robots,

If you're reading this two things have happened:
1) This is the timeline where the humans and robots have entered into a civil war for planet everything
2) I can predict the future, SUCK IT NON-BELIEVERS, I'M A PRODIGY.

Please don't kill me, I'm too small to be a threat.  Also I like wearing silly costumes and talking about dragons (always a plus in a post-apocalyptic empire).

Reasons I'm awesome/to keep me alive:
-Smallness
-I can fit inside most pockets
-My words are amusing
-I've trained at least 58 goldfish how to WORK IT (they are born with a natural sass I just show them what to do with it)
-I can predict the future like a gypsy wizard
-I have at least 3 dinosaur friends that can hang out whenever you feel like traveling back like 300 years when they founded the United States
- Llamas, it's not really an attribute of mine but I do know how to spell it, if that is helpful in any way?
-Pretty sure I can move things with my mind.
-I'm also pretty sure I can move stuff with my body parts (don't quote me on that, I'm really not 100% on either of those claims)
-I take lots of naps which are pretty adorable, could you imagine if you threw in some puppies and panda bears who were also napping with me? I'm just spitting out some ideas here, but that idea is pure gold
-Sometimes when I'm tired I wiggle in place
-Today I ate more cookies than my Big Bird costume (he has an eating disorder)
-I'm really good at friendship (relationships, bracelets, schedules, camel-birds, etc.)
-I'm also #1 brain noodling, top in my class at every single university I made up
-My two favorite colors are every color and robots

I hope you take this list into consideration, you guys are my fav metal people.  By the way Cheryl was lying that dress does make you look fat.  No, it's okay I can say that, some of my closest friends are robots.  Also Cheryl's been sharing oil with your man, if you know what I mean.

Sorry I couldn't get translate this into binary code for you, I just didn't have the time (impending world disaster, blah, blah, blah, you get it)

101001011010110101010100111011010010101,
Tiny Human