Once upon a time, there were dragons, that time happened to be around 3pm yesterday when I was eating my lunch. I'm not here to say that dragons didn't exist in other timelines too (I can only speculate). What I can do is talk about what I know for a fact and that is that dragons are bad-ass, but dragon-babies are also things that do stuff.
During my lunch of sandwich things, this dragon, Steve, came over to me and was all like "Watch my dragon-babies, I have to pillage or fly or blow fire or just be awesome somewhere, I heard you were really smart and super small so I figured you would be the perfect baby-sitter."
To which I responded "Duh, of course, dragon-babies are just like real babies but cooler and with wings."
So Steve went off to go do his dragon thing and I got to hang out with his 4 dragon-babies. I had to learn the hard way that dragon-babies do not respond well to tiny humans.
At first they just did normal baby stuff like cry for Steve and set fire to anything that looked like plastic. Then they started yelling things like "tiny human, get off that stool, who do you think you are you'll never reach that cup." and "get used to being single forever because no one would ever love someone they could fit into their pocket."
These guys were cruel. I began racking my head for solutions to get these things to be nice to me so I could have dragon friends who were also tiny.
Then a stroke of brilliance hit me, kiddie pool filled with french fries. It was like something from a movie. I got out my kiddie pool and filled the whole thing up to the top with french fries as the dragon-babies watched in awe.
They got in the pool of french fries and it was an instant montage of bonding. At first we laughed at the joy of the french fries, tears soon followed because of the empty calories and then laughter again when we realized it would be 800 years before we would have to watch our calorie intake.
That's when the one little dragon, Camel, said something I will never forget "french fries, happiness, don't worry about your final paper I already did it for you." Let me tell you for a dragon of that age, he was saying some pretty smart words.
I take those words with me every where I go. When my professors ask me "Where is your final paper?" I just say "Don't worry Camel has got it under control, french fries."
I will never forget those dragon-babies even after the tiny humans take control and rule over all species both tiny and other sized.
Camel, Roberta, Paper clip, Bick, and their father Steve, thank you for the best half hour of my week. I'll probably remember this for at least 3 more weeks, maybe less my brain can only handle so much.
Much love to the things who are things who like dragons.
Yours Truly,
Tiny Dinosaur Human
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