The Day the Rabbit Became a Lizard

This is a story tiny humans have been telling to their creature children for years, I thought it was only fair to share it with the other-sized people.

For centuries rabbits have been shedding their feathers to become the slime creatures we know and love today.  This story is a little different because when it came time for this rabbit to take her place with her slime creature brethren, she decided to make a choice that would change the history of everything.

Dolores, the rabbit, grew up her whole life watching her friends and family shed their rabbit feathers to become these elegant slime creatures.  She heard her aunts gossiping about the rabbits who didn't shed fast enough or the slime creatures whose slime wasn't oozy enough.  Dolores knew that one day she was destined to become one of these slime creatures and she was TERRIFIED. 

She hated the smell of slime, she hated the way it looked and felt because all of it seemed a whole lot more like boogers than elegance.  That's when she came across a lizard.  This lizard was awesome, he had scales and a forked tongue and whatever the lizard equivalent to a leather jacket.  Dolores knew right then that she didn't want to be a slime creature, she wanted to be a lizard.

So Dolores approached the lizard and asked him "Lizard, how did you become a lizard?" to which he responded "First of all my name is Howard, don't just call me lizard because I'm a lizard, it's offensive."
"Sorry, Howard, I didn't mean to be rude but seriously how did you do it? I want to be a lizard like 3 days ago."
"I just decided.  One day, I was one creature and then I was like lizard-time and then I was a lizard."

Dolores wandered away without responding (she was never very good at pleasantries) and she thought to herself so I can just think myself lizard? BRILLIANT, can't believe I didn't already think of that lizards really are the coolest.
Then she paused a moment to rep all the slime creatures and thought to herself LIZARD-TIME BITCHES and that was that.

Dolores the rabbit became Dolores the lizard.

Then some other stuff happened like her family rejected her for abandoning them blah blah blah emotionally isolated, etc.  It didn't matter anymore because she was a lizard and therefore cool.

Children and other things that aren't children, I want you to take away 2 lessons from this:
1) Being cool is more important than your family.  Family has to accept you, society doesn't, that's why it's opinion is more valuable.
2) If your rabbit is unimpressive, keep saying lizard-time, eventually the rabbit will think it, wondering what you're doing and then your boring rabbit will turn into an edgy lizard.

Dolores if you're reading this, thanks, you're my main bitch.

Always or until a different time,
Tiny Dinosaur Human